It’s that time of year where we reflect on how amazing (or how much of a shit show) the past year has been. 2024 has definitely been a year for the books. There’s been extreme highs and extreme lows. To recap a bit of my year…
January was for dreaming. Being the first month of a new year, I was on a pedestal; in the middle of a rebrand (as most people are). Everything felt new, a fresh start right in front of me. I was full optimism and hope for a great year.
February was a planning month. I knew who I (thought) I wanted to be, how I wanted to show up in this world, and the steps I needed to take on the road to becoming the best version of myself. I had the plan, I had the motivation, I just needed the execution.
March, oh March. Everything was perfect. I was immersed in a world full of new connections, strengthened old ones, let go of unhealthy ones… fully committed to my craft and creativity. I was in tune with myself and everything around me. Nothing could go wrong.
April. The tipping point. I felt a shift coming; I tread lightly. All I could do was brace for impact.
May… undoubtedly the hardest month of the year. How did I go from feeling on top of the world, to feeling bested by my circumstances? Everything changed. I was in unknown territory and I reverted back into old habits. I completely isolated myself from everyone and everything. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, helpless, and ready to throw in the towel. I hated it here.
June. I worked hard to keep myself afloat. “This is temporary” I’d tell myself. “Just keep going, put your best foot forward, do what you can.” It was tough. When you’re down, it’s easier to stay down. But there’s that little voice begging you not to. And so I struggled with balance; feeling the weight of everything that’s happened, but being careful to not let it consume me. I had to find joy in the little things, although there weren’t many, I had to hold onto those moments tightly (for sanity purposes.)
July, I finally got back up! And it was a liberating feeling. Because I’d did it on my own; proved my strength, prevailed despite my circumstances. I literally felt unstoppable. I know in the back of my head that everything happens for a reason, but it was this month that I finally realized why everything happened. I needed this rebuilding period because although I was content with the way I was living, I was too comfortable. And I needed everything to fall so I could build a-new.
August was challenging. I was faced with a never ending supply of hard truths, and slapped in the face with the reality of adulthood. A whole new set of problems presented itself. But if anything those past few months showed me, I’ll work it out. And so that was my mantra… I’ll work it all out in time, with patience; through resilience.
September was glorious. I was surrounded by so much love and countless opportunities. I left my comfort zone completely, and when I did, I was able to connect with myself on an entirely different level. And I needed that reconnection. I’d turned a year older, and with everything I’d dealt with in the previous months, it was a celebration. A thank you to myself for refusing to give up; a pat on the back for surviving another year.
October was filled with endless gratitude for the people around me. Although I was stressed beyond compare, I prioritized spending time with friends and family. I’ve always had a bad habit of isolating myself when I feel overwhelmed, but my circle of loved ones has remained solid through everything. And they’ve proven to me that through this absolute rollercoaster of a year… I don’t have to deal with anything alone. So while there were many times I felt on edge, I was never lonely. And I found comfort in that.
November was kind. I felt truly balanced this month, and it was because I just let things flow. I felt I’d mastered the work/life balance. I was worrying less and living more. And given the battles November presented, I’m surprised. The me in May would’ve spiraled completely. But the growth showed, and the quote proved to be true: no amount of worrying can change the future. Worrying is just wasted time; it’s worshipping the problem. So I did what I could, I gave myself grace, and still came out on top.
December is for rest and recovery. The ups and downs of this year almost took me out, but here I am, living to tell the tale. Reflecting upon this year, I could not have predicted how it would turn out. But as I look back, the year had to happen this way.
My biggest fear is wasted potential. I always knew I could do more, but I didn’t need to- until I was forced to. And that’s what happens… it’s tough to be better if you don’t have a reason to; if everything’s “okay” the way it is. You’ll never reach your peak, you’ll forever be growing and expanding. Even when you think you’ve got it all figured out, there’s more to be done, to be learned, and to be experienced.
I sat down. I said, “Okay, I’m content where I am.” which was okay, until it wasn’t. Because there’s more, this isn’t the finish line.
I got too comfortable being stagnant; too “okay” being just okay. My comfort zone shielded me from the growth I needed, the growth I prayed for and preached on. Although I feel this shift could’ve happened in moderation, tearing everything down in one month was a bit overwhelming… I no longer envy the way this year turned out. 2024 taught me, Just as fast as things can fall apart, they can be put back together. This is not the only time in my life I’ll experience big life changes because I’m not done growing. I don’t want to be. The struggle is worth it when you know there’s meaning behind everything. Every tear shed and bridge burned held purpose.
This year was filled with just about every emotion you can think of- but they’re all fleeting nonetheless. The good, the bad, they’ll always come and go. It’s less about the emotion, and more-so how you deal with them. Do you let them dictate, or do you take control? 2024 was both the worst and the best. I’ve been on go for the past 11 months, and I’m choosing to ride out the rest of the year with ease. This is a period of reflection and gratitude; a deep exhale of trials and tribulations.
To everyone reading, I urge you to slow down and give yourself grace through the rest of this season. I, and you, deserve it. You survived another year. It may have been rocky, you may have cut it close, but you survived. And for that, I’m proud of you. I’m wishing you an abundance of success and love for 2025. Let’s enter the new year on a positive note.
Kisses, hugs, and love, from Amari. <3
