Beauty is more than a look. It’s found in the things you say, as well as the things you do. We’re remembered and missed by things that have nothing to do with physical appearance, and everything to do with our actual character. The way you carry yourself, the things you believe in, the impact you leave… those are what make a truly beautiful person- inside and out.
It’s easy to become consumed by what’s presented at the surface because it’s the first thing we, and others, see. It’s the attention-grabber. But a pretty face doesn’t cancel out an ugly personality. Think of the most amazing, beautiful person you know, and tell me they don’t possess one or all of these qualities.
Here’s why they’re important:
Open-mindedness.
Life is a constant merry-go-round of learning– it has to be. There’s so much we don’t know about ourselves, other people, the world, everything.
Most things only make sense based on the limited information we have on the subject, influenced by personal experiences and perspectives.
There is no rule book that states we have to accept any ideologies that don’t resonate or align with ours- we don’t. But we do have to be willing to learn and understand viewpoints that differ from what we originally believe.
You should disagree with things because you understand that they’re “wrong” based on your beliefs, not because you refuse to accept anything outside of what you deem correct. That is ignorance, and ignorance is ugly. There’s beauty in understanding, beauty in learning, and beauty in being able to shift perspectives when it feels right.
Authenticity.
Be real. Speak when you want to be heard- regardless of what people may think or how others will react. And be loud about it, because your voice is what gives your words power.
Be honest. If you don’t like something, someone, or a situation, verbalize that. There’s more damage in a white lie than a truth with no truth behind it. Although the truth may hurt, the truth is respected if it’s said respectfully. And a part of maturing is not only being able to tell the truth but take the truth in stride.
Be transparent; be direct. And be genuine. We are so hell-bent on not being seen for who we are, yet we hide the parts of ourselves that mean the most because we’re scared of what that’ll mean to others. A genuine person is remembered and valued more than someone who pretended to be something they’re not.
Kindness.
No one should be 100% selfless, or 100% selfish. The two must co-exist with each other. There has to be a balance. You can’t be selfless and disregard your personal needs at the expense of others, but you also have to care about someone other than yourself.
When you are being selfless, you’re showing up for those you love, showing compassion, showing empathy. At a human’s core, we need love and connection- no matter how hard we preach that we don’t need anyone. We do. It’s okay to extend kindness when others need it, to sympathize and be there for others when we can.
Selflessness and selfishness both contradict and necessitate each other.
Forgiveness.
Of others specifically. Forgiveness starts with what forgiving actually means to you. Like, is forgiving a free pass for those who have wronged you or is it an acceptance that what’s happened- happened?
To forgive is to let go of resentment and grudges. You can forgive someone and literally never speak to them again because forgiveness is for you. I’ve forgiven people who probably didn’t even think they needed forgiveness (everyone’s not sorry)- and some who may still, to this day, think I haven’t. Carrying on those ill feelings from the past only hurts me; only holds me back and reflects into the relationships I’ll form in the future.
No one is strictly “good” or “bad” as much as they’re just learning what’s right and wrong. This is our first time here. We haven’t lived these lives before, so we’re all just trying to figure out who we are and who we want to be. That’s why change is so inevitable.
People will fuck up. You will, too. But if we were forever defined by our mistakes, we would never grow past them. When you take a second to think about how there are people on this earth walking around knowing completely different versions of you, ones that don’t even exist anymore, you’ll understand how important forgiveness is. And how we appreciate those who gave us grace when we needed it.
We can’t define people by our experiences with them. We act as collateral damage in a lot of people’s lives- and no, we don’t deserve it, but it happens. While people can change, not everyone is willing to change for you, and that’s why we leave so many relationships heartbroken- cursing at the sky wondering why. It’s not up to us to determine whether or not our forgiveness will make someone better or worse, but it’s up to us to not let the thought prevent us from moving on. That bitterness manifests in the worst ways. There’s beauty is release.
I’m a firm believer that we should mirror what we want to see in this world. If you want kindness, be kind. If you want forgiveness, forgive. Put out what you want to receive, because you cannot expect what you cannot do, too.
Find beauty in the small things, the impactful things, and watch how you begin to glow from the inside out.
