“What’s on the outside doesn’t matter, it’s the inside that counts.”
A pretty generic saying that holds truth, but not in the ways we think.
How I look, and how I present myself matter to me- and that doesn’t mean I’m vain or shallow, it doesn’t mean anything other than the fact that I want to look good; that I want to look in the mirror and feel pretty.
Of course personality, energy, and the way you carry yourself outweigh what’s shown on the surface. But when you look good, you feel good.
When you hear, “you’re so pretty!” from a stranger or a friend, it makes you feel something.
The idea that only an extremely insecure person seeks praise from others isn’t true.
Compliments mean more than we think. They’re validating. And while we don’t seek validation, validation is nice.
If someone wants to tell me the outfit I’m wearing looks good, who am I to say I didn’t need to hear that? I didn’t wear the outfit for compliments.
It’s the comfort in knowing someone noticed and liked it that makes us feel good.
It’s the fact of being seen.
Self-esteem includes how we feel both on the inside and the outside.
You want to feel comfortable in the way you look, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Looks matter to me in the sense of I like getting different hairstyles, I like to get my nails done, I like tattoos, piercings; those superficial things mean something to me because like I said, when you look good, you feel good.
Like a domino effect.
I believe that if there’s something about yourself you want to change, alter, or improve for the sake of feeling more secure within yourself, you should.
Change your style; cut your hair- if it makes you feel good, do it.
Everyone has insecurities. You can learn to love them and embrace them, or you can alter them to make it something you’ll love and embrace.
Improvement is also a big factor of self-esteem.
Just because you change something doesn’t mean you didn’t love it. It just mean you craved something different.
The main idea is,
Outside qualities effect inside qualities positively.
Validation, compliments, and all those superficial things, they’re working to form an appearance on the outside. But on the inside, they’re improving our attitude, mental health, sense of security, sense of being, self-esteem. It’s all linked. Which is why it can matter.
I read a book once where the guy tells the girl, “I never compliment your beauty because there’s so much more to you.”
I think that’s beautiful. Appearance isn’t everything, it’s not the most important thing, but it shouldn’t be ignored in a way where it doesn’t matter. Beauty does not have a concrete definition. You can be as beautiful on the exterior as you are on the interior.
Our self-esteem and confidence has layers. For some, looks don’t mean anything. For some, personality doesn’t mean anything. And for the vast majority, nurturing the inside and outside is everything.
Feeling confident in all aspects of yourself is beautiful.
