Victim mindsets, what are they and how do they hold us back?
With a victim mindset, you’re wired to believe that everything is happening to you. You have no control, you have no power, and you’re helpless. Anything that goes wrong is the fault of outside sources. You’re a victim of your circumstances.
This is far from true. Everything starts with you. You set things in motion; you are responsible for your life. Things happen because of you.
We’ve heard the saying, “Everything happens for a reason.” And truly, they do. Nothing we say or do is for nothing. Every single fleeting moment is a piece to a puzzle, one answer to a multi-part equation, everything matters. The things you say and do reflect into what you receive. This isn’t to say if bad things are happening to you, you deserve it. It’s urging you to move past the idea that bad things are prone to happen to you and there’s nothing you can do about it. You are no one’s punching bag, no ones test dummy, you are you. If you change the way you show up in the world, the world will show you just how good it can get. Things will begin to shift around you for the better. But if you lay down and accept harsh circumstances, the pattern will continue because you refuse to accept anything good. How can you want good things to flourish around you without believing you actually deserve good things? That good things can happen?
There are many things in life we can’t control. That’s why we have to focus on the things we can. We can’t control whether an employer chooses to hire us, but we can control the things we say in the interview. The things we’ve done to secure the interview. The way we present ourselves in the interview. And if this job is meant for us, it will be ours. In a world full of things you cannot control, you must lead with intention. That job is not guaranteed. If they choose not to hire you, are you going to let the situation victimize you- scream and cry at the world… give up hope on employment? Or are you going to accept that we don’t get things not meant for us, and it is not the end of the world. There are other jobs. There are other interviews. You’re not a victim. And life goes on.
No one’s life is easy. There will be setbacks, failures, loss- it’s an inevitable feat. “Happy” people, or those who’ve attained inner peace aren’t that way because negative things haven’t happened to them. They grew into that person by bouncing back. The difference between someone with a victim mindset and someone with a growth mindset is resiliance; their ability to withstand and recover.
Your mindset is a huge part of where you’ll end up in life. And a victim mindset will stunt your growth in the worst ways. It shields you from the bigger picture, forcing you to remain trapped in a never ending cycle of despair. This mindset is usually rooted in an influx of negative things happening in a short period of time. You think, “Can’t I catch a break?” “Why is all of this happening to me?”
While you may ask that question, many people don’t actually take the time to answer. They just sit in the discomfort of a reality where nothing can go right. They accept it. Instead of accepting it, sit with it. Reframe, “Why is this happening to me?” Ask yourself, “What is this trying to show me? Teach me?” What will you take away from this situation and how will you use it to your advantage? If you are not challenged in this life, you are not living.
Heal so you can hear what’s being said without the filter of your wounds. It’s an unfortunate thing when people take lessons as burdens.
Your thoughts drive your behaviors. By simply changing the way you think about a situation, you then change the way you go about the situation. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% of your reaction.
“Why is this happening to me?” fuels a victim mindset.
“What is this trying to show me?” reveals a situations intentions, and guides you onto a greater path of learning. And that’s of course, what life is about. Understanding why so you can use that knowledge to propel you forward. Experiencing everything, the good and the bad. Our experiences are our life. Each one working to uncover a message we need to hear and a lesson we need to learn.
The first step in truly elevating your life comes from the way you think about it, and if you think you are a victim, you will continue to be victimized. It is never you vs. the world, it is always you vs. you. No one person, source, or higher being is out to get you. You are simply coexisting with billions of other people on different journeys that either contribute to or conflict with yours- sometimes causing it to collapse.
A collapse is not the end of the world. It’s a redirection; a hidden lesson. Expand your perceptions and release the idea that you are a victim in your own life. Break free from the prison that is your unhealthy, irrational thoughts and dive into a healthier, rational mindset.
