To be “given closure”, means being able to move on.
For the longest time, I used to think that in order to move past a situation, you needed some sort of final goodbye where you could ask questions, receive clarity, reassurance, maybe even an apology.
Seeking closure (for me at least) stemmed from wanting to know why?; refusing to accept things as they are- as they’ve been presented in front of me.
But closure isn’t something you seek. It’s something you give yourself.
The idea that you need closure from another person in order to move on is fake news.
The next steps of your life shouldn’t be dictated by anyone but you.
The why doesn’t matter. Because it doesn’t change what happened. It doesn’t change how it happened.
What matters is: whatever happened, happened. No words can change that.
Lots of times we mistake seeking closure with wanting an explanation.
Wanting an explanation is simply wanting an explanation. Seeking closure though, is like asking for a stamp of approval to move on.
You don’t need someone to grant you permission to move on with your life. No one should ever have that power over you.
Closure has to come from you. Even if they say the most perfect thing ever, it won’t justify their actions and it won’t change the outcome.
The way people leave your life is a reflection of their character. When people show you who they are, believe them.
The thing about getting “closure” from someone is that they can literally say anything! They can butter you up and tell you all the great things you want to hear. But by now, we all know words are bullshit.
People lie.
It’s about actions.
How’d they leave the situation? That matters more than what they say about the situation.
Life isn’t a movie. There won’t always be a closing sentence. You won’t always get the answers to your questions. A lot of things will remain unknown.
Closure is acceptance.
Accepting that it is what it is.
Closure is something only you can give yourself.
