Sometimes growing is letting go of who you thought you were.
It’s not shocking that we aren’t the same person we were at age 10, or 15, or 18. It’d be disappointing if we were.
Do you have those moments where you think about something you did in the past? Whether it was years ago or even just last month? Then you get that shameful, embarrassing feeling in your stomach and it’s literally all you can think about?
It starts to consume you in a way where you question,
Why did I do that?
Why did I handle it like that?
What could I have done different?
If I did ___, then _____.
Ultimately, you wish you could go back. Right your wrongs.
But the past can’t be changed.
As someone who overthinks everything, these thoughts would send me in a downward spiral. My inability to go back in time made me feel hopeless.
I would think, “If that were to happen again, I’d do something different.”
And I would.
Because if anything, I learned from my past.
Things learned in the past pave the way for a brighter future.
A lot of us have the tendency to beat ourselves up over things no longer in our control.
Suddenly… our wrong doings become who we are. We define ourselves by them. Are our brains wired to automatically focus on the ways we messed up? Why are we dwelling on things that happened so long ago?
All that dwelling on the past is ironically a sign of growth. You wish you could take it back and do things differently because if given the chance, the entire narrative would change. It’s a good thing.
The past version of you didn’t know what you were dealing with at the time, so the current version of you learned. And the future version of you will be thankful.
What you always believed; what you thought was right, has changed over time. And will likely continue changing as you go through each day. What you feel is right today, may shift tomorrow.
Instead of beating yourself up about it, remind yourself that it happened during a time where you didn’t know any better.
Moving forth, you know better.
Instead of thinking, “I should’ve known better.” Think, “I’m glad I know better now.”
We spend too much time living in the past, occupying our present with things that we can’t change.
You cannot define yourself by actions made years, months, or even days ago.
Let go of who you thought you were and make room for who you learned that you can be.
How do you expect to grow if you’re stuck in a time that you’ll never get back?
Focus on where you’re going and what you learned that got you there.
You may have regrets, you may have made mistakes, but at the end of the day- they shaped who you are today.
Stop being so hard on past versions of yourself, they did the best with what they knew.
Forgive your past and allow room for an optimistic future.
